As I am at a place where it’s almost like I get to start over, there are many thoughts, wonders, questions, plans and ideas running through my head. In all honesty, I’m NOT really starting over. This is merely the NEXT step forward. I’m simply geographically being relocated to where my first home is, in Port Charlotte, Florida.
These last nine months were NOT a failure. I did NOT hear the Lord wrong when I believed He was leading me to move not only to Tennessee, but also to Rhode Island. People really need to get out of the deceptive and mythical idea that God won’t ever send you someplace to have everything fall apart!! For the TRUTH is that sometimes that’s EXACTLY what we NEED to happen in order to become fully dependent upon HIM!! There’s NO shame when you go through your own Job test (meaning your entire life gets shaken and tried to extremes!), as long as you continue to follow the Lord and give yourself over to His will.
It’s better to be persecuted for doing RIGHT, than for those persecutions to be true.
So, as I’m stepping out into this new direction, I’ve found some questions to ponder. These actually come from my monthly Terri Savelle Foy newsletter for the month of December.
1. What do you really want to do?
2. What do you really want to have?
3. What do you really want to be?
4. Where do you really want to go?
I want to encourage you to write these out and look at them for yourself. Think about them. Think about them till you KNOW the answers for each. Really evaluate your life where it is, and see what improvements you want to work towards. No life is completely perfect, so there’s ALWAYS room for growth!!
And, I’m going to go ahead and answer these in this entry. Maybe through my own honesty, you can be honest as well.
1. What do I really want to do?
To be the minister I’m called to be and write books. I want to hold seminars and teach other people the things that the Lord’s taught me. I want to travel, yet be planted somewhere and grow roots.
2. What do I really want to have?
I want a family. I want a home. I want my exterior life to be paralleled with the riches of my interior. I want full relationships.
3. What do I really want to be?
I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman. I want to be a woman of truth, honor integrity and respect. I want to have a gentle and meek spirit. I want to be passionate, full of zeal and full of spirit and LIFE!! I want to be daring and fearless. I want to be fruitful and radiant. I want to hold my head up high as I rely on God’s grace in the areas I’m weak. I want to be the best version of ME… not someone else! I want to be reliable and trustworthy. I want to be counted as one who is loyal and dedicated and faithful. I want to be known as beautiful because of the hidden man of my HEART, not for what I necessarily look like.
I want to be a powerful and effective minister. I want to be a firm, yet understanding mother who always is helping my children to grow up strong. I want to be an open ear and a broad shoulder for my friends. I want to be a daughter and a sister who makes my family proud to have me. And… one day… I want to be presented as a bride who is without spot or blemish. One who’s been waiting for her prince, preparing for him all the while. I want to be a wife, a helpmate, that a husband would be honored to have by his side.
And… I want to be a woman of strength.
4. Where do I really want to go?
I want to go on adventures!! I want to be planted and settled in ONE place, yet travel. I want to go to Italy, mostly for ministry purposes. I want to go to Hawaii, especially to Kauai. I want to go on cruises and see all kinds of beautiful beaches. I want to go to Ireland and Paris and Greece. I want to go places where I can hike and be away from the rest of the world. I am up for wherever the Lord sends me…
What I love about coming out of these last nine months is that I’m never going to be the same again. I think different. I feel different. I probably even LOOK different.
I know that going to a place that was my original home is going to be a challenge. I already know I’m going to be faced with a lot of questions and skepticism. I know that some are going to remember me from either nine years ago, or two and a half years ago, and still see me as that broken, desperate GIRL. Sigh… But all I can do is let my FRUIT speak for itself. I don’t have to justify myself. I’ve been restored and made whole (though this process will last a lifetime!). I’ve been transformed into a WOMAN.
And I’m not going BACK… I’m going FORWARD to Florida.
February was almost like my own death, and now reappearing is my resurrection.
I view these last nine months as having made the biggest accomplishments I’ve ever conquered in my entire life!!
I am a woman who is so lost in the Lord that only a man IN the Lord can find me.
And when that prince finds me…
He will come for me.
He won’t delay…
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