I know I normally have so much to say when it comes to these pivotal points, but… it’s like my emotions are being rationed right now.
I’ve got a lot of road ahead of me and I’m not only responsible for just myself on this trip, but also for my mother and my kitty cat, whom I’m only going to be able to have for another 2 nights. I have loved this cat so very, very much. But I suppose I was only to have him for this season…
And I will go ahead and add that I was VERY thankful to have been able to have said goodbye to my brother’s dog he still has. He was my 80 pounds of love. And tonight he just rested against me and wouldn’t move. It was like he knew he was safe with me and didn’t want to be anywhere else. After several minutes, I had to stand back up, which was very hard for me to do.
I have tried my best to cherish every moment I’ve had with my closer-than-a-sister 16 year old friend that I’ve made while being here. She is most definitely someone who will be my friend for LIFE. One of the absolute darkest times of my entire life and the Lord chose NOW to give me a REAL friend to have IN PERSON!! She came in a package I didn’t expect (for she’s about half my age), yet the Lord knew EXACTLY what He was doing. She was my number one unexpected joy for the year of 2011!!
I will miss being with this family I’ve been living with. They allowed me to share the holidays with them this year. They took me in. They fed me!! They watched movies with me. I got to laugh and be silly and share. They gave me a bed and a room and I always got a hot shower. I’ve not been without.
I will miss the man who came to ME twice this week. I’m thankful he came and said goodbye to me, for I would have went out of my way to have said it to him had he not. How nice it was for him to come to ME. How much hope those couple of exchanges gave me butterflies and reignited hope in me.
All its done is make me wonder about what I’m stepping into when I get to Florida…
It’s amazing how much I’m looking forward to what “might” happen. I’m wondering if it’s at all possible if during time I’ve been away… well…
Um…
I don’t want to say too much. The night hours can do that to me…
But I will say this.
“Somewhere someone is looking for exactly what you have to offer.”
I saw that on a plaque in the Hallmark store today and I LOVE that!
So what if someone did see what I had to offer, but the timing was off? And maybe they TRIED to make it work, but I wouldn’t allow it!? And what if after all this time…
He’s still willing to help?
And what if NOW is the right time?
I honestly can’t believe how much I’m looking forward to seeing this man…
But I’m also grounded enough to use good judgment (thank God!!).
So this is what I’m thinking during the last night.
Hope.
Possibilities.
And… maybe there’s a man in my very near future. Maybe I would allow him to take me on dates now. Maybe I wouldn’t mind the idea of having dinner with him, knowing that he’s never been ashamed of me, no matter how silly I can be. Maybe I wouldn’t mind being in the company of this man who kept trying to help me before… and maybe I wouldn’t mind letting him! Maybe I like the idea of looping my arm around his while we walk and lean into him. Maybe I like the idea of there being a first kiss…
Hmm…
“Somewhere someone is looking for exactly what you have to offer.”
And, if they are…
Sigh…
They won’t just let me walk away… they’ll ask me to stay… to take their hand and lead the way…
So, goodbye Rhode Island…
Hello Tennessee New Year's Eve night!!
Anything is possible…
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