Entry 182: Wonderful Smile

(I've been using my iPhone for these entries ever since my arrival in Florida. The typos add up quick and editing is sometimes impossible because of glitches and such. I apologize for wrong words being placed by spell check and for all the mistakes. It also won't let me make paragraphs!) Short and simple, I had SO much today... And got paid at the same time!! I'm still not sure what he Lord is wanting to accomplish with me being around the only man I would say yes to in a heartbeat if he were to be so brave as to ask me out. Circumstances are delaying the time from being RIGHT, but it won't be but maybe just a couple of more weeks and we could go out and it not be a conflict of interest, or, more exact, showing favoritism. There's a reason why I was adamant to NOT want to transfer back to my home store, though working there temporarily, helping me to get my full 40 hours, has only solidified WHY my choice was right and good! Hmm... I cannot help but smile at the little things he does to make things easier for ME. And when I acknowledge and thank him, for what he does really IS helping me, he lets me know that he sees me struggle and that's WHY he does it. My breath catches... He honestly looks out for me. And the compassion I see in him now, ESPECIALLY when we're around customers is so very attractive. Even his language is cleaner. And... He LETS me mess with him and he goes right along with it!! We both drag on a joke for weeks at a time. He pretends like he's going to put tape on my mouth and I just giggle and then actually rip off a piece and then smack it on his hand and tell him I'm going to help in giving him a wax job! He just lets me! He plays! He smiles and laughs and is silly with me! Today made me realize something... This man is REAL. I can touch him and see his expressions. I can talk to him. I know that he cares at least on some level. He ALWAYS offers solutions. And when I am in need, he never makes me feel inadequate. I can honestly say that I feel safe with him. I would trust him enough to do out on dates!!! And that's HUGE for me!! It's all the simple things. He was always trying to protect me BEFORE moving to Tennessee. And now that neither of us are attached to anyone and he knows I'm here to stay... I wonder... And... After knowing him now for almost 2 years... Hmm... I say with honesty that I really could fall for him. Just... am I supposed to?! I don't want to just give my heart away. So, in the meantime, I will just continue to keep my thoughts from running away with me and focus on what the Lord is showing me to do, read and pray. The Lord will work it out. I will know soon enough. But man, I sure do love to make him smile!! I wonder if he thinks the same about me...